INTRODUCTION
I- FAMILY
Growing up
My mother's roots go back to the first settlers of Quebec Canada. My grand-father had always been proud of his ancestors who built the first fort in Montreal. Montreal is a huge island surrounded by the longest river in Canada, the St-Laurent River. My grand-mother was from the very same family. My grand-parents raised four children and my mother was the biggest child among 2 boys and two girls. Nicolas, Michael and me, were the fruits of a marriage between a Greek emigrant called Athanasios and a French Canadian. My mother Nicole was raised in a conservative Catholic family while my father was, like most Greeks, a firm Orthodox.
Some might believe that Westerners in general and Canadians in particular do not take these religious differences in serious consideration. Well!!!! This might be true in Europe and in the rest of Canada, but here in the only French territory it is a totally different story. During the years sixty and the seventies, Quebecers were still holding on strongly to Catholicism with its national and historical reflection. Some people still see Quebec as a state occupied by the English and Protestants.
My father met my mother at the bus stop while going to her job. She was an 18 year old decent girl among the funky trends that spread all over the world in the 1970s of the last century. This specifically is what attracted him to her. He was 5 years older than her. The bus became their daily rendez-vous. They both lived in Laval, a peaceful city north of Montreal, not far away from one another.
My father had been in Canada for only a short period of time and he didn’t know how to speak any language other than Greek. He worked at a Greek restaurant. As he was a cook, the kitchen was crowded with his own citizens. The owner and most customers were Greek as well. My father spoke nothing but Greek and only a handful of French words. Of course my mother spoke only French, so, my parents used the dictionary to communicate. After a while my father learned the French language and my mother, the Greek language. I believe my parents were destined to be together as they successfully passed over difficulties right from the beginning of their relationship.
I was born in Montreal on April. 28th, 1978; my youngest brother Michael (we call him Mixalys, it is the Greek version of his name) was born 18 months later and I have an older brother of four years, called Nicolas (Nick). At the age of 8, we moved to Alma, The typical French-looking peaceful small city with a population of approximately thirty thousand. My father had opened his own Greek restaurant as he was trying to build a career, practically and financially. The restaurant, Don Greco, had a lot of success because no similar places were available at that time.
Business as well as life went from good to better for my family. They extended the restaurant and bought a house. In short, life was beautiful and things were simple. We were a small family living in peace in a quiet Canadian city that freezes in winter as the temperature goes down to more than -30 degrees Celsius. In summer and in winter nature gives us the joy of blooming forests and the famous tourist lake by which the city is located, St. John Lake, shines like a crystal glass.
My Mom was quiet and firm while my Dad was more dominant and reverent. It was enough for me to know that he knew I did something wrong to make me terrified from punishment which never went beyond strong reproaching or no outings; he never used physical violence.
My parents converted to evangelical Christianity during the year 1978. The base of this faith is that the believer has eternal life the moment he believes that Jesus died on the cross for his sins. Once the person has accepted in his heart the sacrifice of Jesus as a pay back for his sins, his life in heaven is guaranteed. In sum, the believer is saved by faith alone and not by deeds. So, my parents raised my brothers and me in the base of Christianity as they transmitted to us biblical values. My father would always tell us stories from the Old and New Testaments concerning the prophets and their miracles while we were all sitting together savouring a delicious home cooked meal prepared by my mother. The stories were meaningful as they would offer life-living advices. The bible was part of our lives. My parents would keep their bible on the bedside table and they would read it every morning. Although they were strong believers, they failed to gather with other born again Christians when we moved to Alma until the mid 90's.
I began to discover the bible during my teenage years. Of course I heard the stories written in this book but I never really focused on reading them. The first book I read was the book of proverbs. I have always enjoyed reading poems and maxims. I viewed them as lessons of life. They offered me guidelines on how to be a good person and how to live a righteous life. I never questioned the veracity of the bible. I firmly believed it was the word of God even before opening the book and reading the first verse. I believed in the oneness of God but that God was one with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I didn't know how 3 "people" could be one, but I believed it.
I remember one day I was coming home from school. I was 8 years old and I started to think about life and death. It was a cloudy spring day where no trace of snow could have been found. The trees were flourishing and flowers would spread their aphrodisiac smell into the beautiful environment. As I was walking, I asked myself the reason why I was living on this earth and where would I go once I passed away. After my death, would I go to hell, heaven or just disappear? Fear filled my heart and soul as I was imagining myself not existing anymore. I feared more of disappearing than of going to hell. These thoughts would come and go in my mind. Sometimes I would cry at night in my bed feeling afraid for my afterlife not knowing the outcome of it. My mother would come to my room and console me with biblical words as she took me into her arms. She would tell me not to be afraid because we were going to heaven. I asked her how could she be sure of it and she would reply that she was sure of going to heaven because Jesus is living inside the believers. I wished at that time I could feel the same peace she was
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Alone in Ottawa
It was easy to convince my Dad that I wanted to become a nurse and not a doctor as he hoped. I was the only daughter at home. I was my Daddy's princess. Ever since I was a child, he expected me to keep my word whenever I made a promise, and so I did. My father was strong but tender, tough and so close to my heart. We talked freely, as friends. He had firm convictions that no one but God could make him change his mind.
I didn’t consider myself "born again from God" although I attended meetings from time to time at the assembly (that's how evangelicals call the church) where there were prayers, interpretation lessons, chanting, preaching and the breaking of the bread on Sundays. I didn't ask to be a member to participate in this ritual of the Lord's super, for I didn't consider myself living with sacredness, abandoning everything worldly or life-labeled.
I was an 18 year old in university with an inviting life ahead of me especially that I was living alone for the first time. I lived with a Chinese Canadian in a small room and shared other living spaces with 25 other students.
Too many times I looked in the mirror asking myself these questions: "what do I want?" or "who am I?". I wanted to live in peace, be beloved by God and feel the security of the after life.
Nevertheless, I noticed many obscure contradictions about Jesus the lord when reading the Bible. (How could he accept to be spit at in the face by a roman soldier? What if I spitted in the face of the preacher?.......... Why does God pay for Adam's debt to himself when He is Adam's Creator????........ How could he pay for Adam's debts to himself on the basis that Jesus is God incarnate?????????........ Hundreds of serious questions were shaking in my head. I wrote my questions on a separate notebook to inquire about them when possible to anyone in the church. I got tired from the various questions that started to disturb me. Some of these questions were:
_ If salvation is achieved by Jesus, what happens to the millions of people who were born before him?
_ If God created Adam and Eve and placed them in heaven knowing their limitations on resisting Satan, why would he allow Satan to be in heaven?
_ If my Mom prohibited me from eating apples but I still ate some, would she punish me by death? As the Christians believe that God punished Adam by death and he postponed it till Christ came along and died instead of Adam and his progeny, did God's punishment suit Adam's fault?
_ If Christians believe that the saved ones are chosen by Jesus himself to be loyal and that he knew them before creation, so why take it against those who don't believe if they weren't chosen by Jesus?
_Why wasn't Jesus the author of the Bible? The gospels were written by people who were not one of Jesus disciples or even a witness to Jesus acts or speeches. Also, the scholars do not know which John wrote the fourth gospel.
_If the disciples knew he was God, so how could it be that Satan, according to the Bible, tempted Jesus (“Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me”) when it is said in James 1: 13-15, in 2 peter 2: 9 and in I John 2: 16 that God cannot be tempted?
_If Jesus is God, hence, he is immortal (anti-death, death resistant) as he is the creator of death. So, his death on the cross is false and his resurrection is meaningless for the dead had not died in the first place.
Tens of questions started coming to my mind despite the fact that I read these holy books many times. I felt I have to know exactly what to believe and to get the answers myself. When I failed to do that, suspicions started to come along. I didn't dare to reveal these suspicions to my father fearing he would see me as a disbeliever of Jesus. I decided to e-mail a famous preacher, probably one of the most famous, with all my questions and signed it with a pseudo- name so no one would feel ashamed of me. I got a reply message asking me to watch a TV show at a certain time and date on the TV channel which airs the preachers teachings and sermons. I was glad because I trusted that he was the best preacher in the world; he was called the pope of the evangelists- although his church is different than ours in issues other than the subject of my questions
Cunning Movie
Left behind was the name of the movie. It had many editions but this movie in particular is one of the evangelical super prodigies. Unfortunately, lies in the movie the viscous processing and the intended falsification of the interpretation of these stories on which the authors and the producers of the movie worked on (the movie is produced by a Canadian company) in a way that the audience's mind feel attached to the movie, accepting its events as true happenings and proven facts whereas the story and the movie are nothing but a manifestation of a very narrow interpretation rejected by a lot of Christians, among which are protestants and evangelicals. The purpose of that movie was to internalize events they claim would happen soon in viewers' minds and consciousness as firm facts hence helping them to attract more viewers. So it was. It was just an influential phenomenon (5 or 6 editions). It was like Rock and Roll in America in general and Christian in particular; the last edition was premiered in churches not in movie theaters (some churches in America seat 2500 people).
In short the movie is a detailed prolonged visualization, with enormous, breath-taking visual and sound effects, of the sufferings and the difficulties of the lives of those remaining on earth after the "kidnap" and the ascendance of Christian believers to heaven with Jesus (the second coming) i.e. the torture lasting for 7days targeting Christians who did not believe in the radical evangelical way. The torture is exercised by the head of the UN (the devil's representative on earth) which turns to universal government (that rules the world) and uses the help of the police force exercising the worst oppression on Christians (non-believers!). The acts of oppression that are shown in the movie are burning alive, banning from standing in the same line as non-Christians, labeling them with badges and hallmarks of the monster and its slogan. It also talks about universal disasters (massive fires, earthquakes, hunger, and diseases). The most effective scene for me was the scene of a couple believers whose son doesn't listen to them and refuses to believe in Christ in order to ensure his salvation. The son used to mock them when they told him the good that was coming soon and he had to accept Jesus but, he refused. The movie escalates when the mother disappears from her home and the iron she was using was still on the ironing board, whereas his father disappears the same way while coming back home. He was left alone in this world; he started thinking that his parents were right and the kidnap was not nonsense. He turned on the TV only to find out that millions of people have been reported missing the same way at the same time. It was a universal phenomenon that didn't only happen in his city. This was the time when he regretted not believing in them and decided to accept God but ordeals horrifically came along one after the other.
I imagined my self in that lonely guy's shoes, just as the other good-hearted people watched the movie imagined my parents leaving me alone. I was afraid to suffer here on earth these horrible catastrophes and then to die and suffer from the burning fire in hell. I spent all the night thinking about the movie and my heart was filled with sadness and confusion. I pleaded God that night to forgive me for my sins and to please accept me to be one of his. I cried as I was asking God to take my life. Although I didn't know what it meant exactly to give your life to God but I didn't care, I just wanted to be safe. I wasn't certain of my salvation until the next day during supper time. I went to eat with my parents at a Greek restaurant before they embarked on their trip back to Alma. I told my parents about my sleepless night and how I prayed to God. I asked them what I had to do and my father said: "do nothing just believe". My father assured me of my eternal salvation and nothing could take that away from me. I felt very happy, free and most importantly, safe. I was walking on a cloud. I possessed heaven and this just by having faith in Jesus. That was the first turning point in my life.
My life became all about classes, church, preaching, home, books, nursing, Bible, Christian books on preaching among by-name Christians and people from different religions, listening to preachments and watching them on television.
Moving to Montreal
For the second year of my nursing studies, I have decided to complete my baccalaureate at the University of Montreal. So, I moved in with my grandmother and my aunt. My grandmother owned a bungalow in which she lived in for the last 40 years of her life with my grandfather and raised her 4 children. I had a special relationship with my grandmother and aunt so I was thrilled to stay with them. It allowed us to become closer and to catch up for all the years we have been apart. The good hearted ladies were happy as well to have me. I brought joy to their lives. I remember one summer where I spent 4 months in Alma with my parents, it was in between two semesters, my grandmother and aunt came to visit us because they had miss me so much. Of course it was a good occasion for them to spend time with my mother too. My grandmother said to me that I was her sunshine.
Before leaving from Alma and pursuing my studies for a third semester at the university of Montreal, my parents found for me the address and phone number of an evangelical assembly in Montreal. This assembly is part of ''the open brethren'' organization. I gathered with them for a short period of time on Sundays for the breaking of the bread and for the biblical lectures given there once a week. My parents were going to the same type of church in Jonquiere, a city geographically located 20 km east from Alma. In time, my father recognized that this organization wasn't conducting its reunions according to the bible. So, my parents left the church in Jonquiere and met with the ''exclusive brethren'' that was located in Chicoutimi (45 minutes away from Alma). My father explained to me the differences between the "open" and the "exclusive brethren" and how it was best to be member of the "exclusive brethren" church. I always trusted my father's opinion and I valued his knowledge and understanding of the bible. His explanation was very clear and after research, I arrived at the same conclusion that he did concerning these two kinds of churches. My father gave me the phone number of a Christian brother belonging to this other type of church in Montreal.
After getting the number from my father, I called Brother Gabriel and introduced myself to him. I asked him about the assembly's (church) address. He gave me two addresses as they had their meetings in two different buildings. They did not own their proper building so they rented the basement of an abandoned school and a local at a Christian church. The group was from an Arabic background and the Arabic language prevailed in their meetings. I thought all Arabs were Muslims (they denounced me calling them Arabs). The group was newly established with few members (radical evangelists think that the fewer the people, the more enthusiastic they are about preaching, so they make sure of establishing new separate churches and groups allowing them to maintain the flame of preaching with everyone engaged in conferences and common activities).
There were no more than 50 brothers and sisters among which were Egyptians, Syrians, Russians, and some were from Haiti and Québec. But most of them were Lebanese. It didn't bother me to have the written translations of the songs, nor pray silently for there was simultaneous interpretation available in French through headphones to anyone in need. Especially for those who spoke only French. We had the visit of a lot of English and French speaking preachers for lectures. The extreme kindness towards me from the brothers and sisters made me feel psychologically comfortable with them especially when I met Ferial and Leila for the first time. They were as old as my mother but we became friends very quickly. Each person from the church is automatically related to the other forming one group entering into a relationship with God. Therefore, friendship is a must considering that we will reunite for prayer 3 days per week, in addition to the other activities like the breaking of the bread and leaflet distribution in the streets, going to conferences and picnicking together. The activity and social relationship of a brother and a sister in the group or brethren from other groups was supposed to be established in a way that doesn't corrupt the believer and on the basis of abandoning the world and living for God. This does not mean not to mix with others but not to be friends with them, be in-laws with, be in love or marry them, living with them or sharing work with them under specific conditions. Shortly, belonging to the group means abandoning your personal freedom replacing it by the freedom in the Messiah which in fact is an oppression exercised by a bunch of elders (oldest in faith or/and in age but faith comes first) on others, especially on women to transform them into mindless machines and meaningless personalities. They even do not allow women to talk when Christ is there (during any meeting at church). When at class, women are not allowed to ask any questions. A woman had to ask her husband at home or her father if she had any questions, or she should stay silent till the Holy Spirit (which in reality is an evangelical brother) brings understanding to her heart. Despite all these taboos, the fact that everyone was watching everybody else was a believer's duty according to Paul's sayings in the holy book, as well as everything else I mentioned earlier. I believed I was living with the most wonderful Christian group in the world. They lived almost like the early Christians did. The doctrine was all about the belief that we are living at the end of time before the second coming of Christ to kidnap his church (which means us). We thought the next moment was probably the last one we would live in this strange world to which we don't belong and that we will go where we do, to heaven where Christ is, with whom we are going to judge and condemn the sinners. To fasten this, we have to hurry completing the number of the saved whose every name is written in the salvation book by the hand of Jesus who's going to use his messengers (meaning us and preachers) to bring them to him. That's why you see the crazy excitement for preaching activities among those groups; they think just like I did, each new believer could be the last after whom the number is completed. Then Christ, seen only by his followers, will show up in the clouds to take us with him, whereas the others will be suffering horrible judgment and punishments.
My happiness with the lord was overwhelming; I felt that my far reached dreams had come true. I was so much into preaching after being trained by reading and taking training courses given by preachers (we call them the lord's servants) coming form Canada and the U.S.
The group had to divide the work among the members each one as he/she could and on the basis of individual initiative, strongly supported by the large evangelical institutions when proven effective. So the dentist, Michel Y., started establishing a Christian public library as a media office and preaching center given that the choice of the place was carefully considered by him and the other donor brethren. It was on Decarie St., in St.-Laurent, because of religious and ethnic diversity. There were Moroccans, Haitians, Africans, Greeks and Lebanese. It was next to two libraries. One was Islamic owned by a Moroccan and the other, Arabic, owned by the representative of the Druze in Montreal, Hassan Eis Eddin called "Middle East".
Each member of the church contributed to the work of God according to his interests and his talents. Joseph, a Syrian brother, and his wife took charge of establishing a preaching website called "Bait Allah" (the house of the lord). Gabi, the Egyptian Palestinian took charge of public relations and communication with other churches. He coordinated the greater activities as chanting ceremonies for which we "imported" chanting bands from Egypt, U.S., Jordan and Lebanon ( Ayman Kafrouni, an ex singer, devoted himself to God by chanting). Nicolas, he was the Lebanese who took charge of the visual and sound recordings. Other members took care of pal talk, this was a discussion believers and non- believers on the internet about God. Leila took care of light /soft refreshments after the meetings with the help of house wives sisters. Olga and her Ukrainian husband, devoted themselves to preaching among Slavic Canadians; one Haiti family took care of preaching among the Haitian community, each one as they could. What I'm talking about here is a group of 50 people in 1998 (when I left in 2002, they were hundred members or more apart from those who had the desire to belong to the group but had not been accepted yet at the table of the Lord). I chose to serve God by volunteering my free time at the Christian bookstore mentioned earlier as well as Ferial who was devoted to serving God. I would go once or twice per week in between my full time studies at the university and my part time job at the hospital. The bookstore was like an entrapment for the customers and nosy people in order to invite them to participate with us in public activities. We were keen on having a summer conference to which whole families of non-believers were invited; it was held in on of the magnificent country resort of the bank of St. Laurent River, small streams outside Montréal with an atmosphere of decent entertainment for children and adults; everybody was of use (believers and non- believers and members of other churches) to attract new members by personal relations and the preachment of well-qualified professionals coming form abroad which were chosen by the church. Lectures were given day and night for a total of two classes a day. Entertainment parties were organized inviting the guests to ask questions to the preacher, to play, to sing and of course food was served. This was one of the most successful days to win people to church.
That's how my life was for four years as a repentant dreaming of nothing but the near coming of Christ to kidnap us. I was so afraid of death, but after belonging to the group, I didn't fear death any longer for I knew that true believers will be kidnapped soon (that's how they convince themselves), hence we are not going to see death. Also, the dead believers will resurrect from death though we do not believe in holding a requiem because no prayer will do any good to the dead if forgiveness is not awarded in life.
The Massacre of Personal Freedom.
Women believers had to commit themselves not to be friends with non-believers, as well as men. They had to wear headscarves in church (not out of decency but as a symbol of obedience as Paul says ''But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God ''). We had to quit listening to loud music and all kinds of songs except chants, we had to quit drinking a lot of wine (better to stop completely except in church on Sundays), not go to inappropriate places for we are the holders of Christ testimony (we considered ourselves very special and close to the lord who chose and lived in us). Most brothers do not go to the movies or theaters or to parties; who ever known to do so is punished (expelled from the table of God sometimes). Also punished were women wearing clothes shorter then knee-length, sleeveless, or chest revealing shirts. It's only ok to wear 3quarter sleeved shirts, and skirts were preferred to pants. In other churches, which share the same belief as we did, do not stop at these formalities, although they do prefer them. But our church considers these formalities to be essential in showing obedience to the church. We were individually trained to be obedient to each other, otherwise we wouldn't be holy. In practice this obedience wasn't done on an equal basis between the believers in general and the senior believers. We knew that the group of Christians who called themselves seniors after they prayed God who in return accepted their nomination (with no consent or refusal from anyone of us, I mean how could we refuse a direct order of Christ!!!!!!!!!!! We thought the believer who prays doesn't speak afterwards but by Christ order. The seniors say that they received a revelation from the Holy Spirit but in reality their words and actions are guided by their own interests). This religious heresy control our personal freedom even in the most private issues like marriage, love, work, business, etc. The believer has to ask the brethren to pray for him/her for that (i.e. ask their consent). They in turn discuss it in the private church board which has no one but seniors (no women allowed) and hard or nearly impossible to increase but by their consent. All decision had to be taken unanimously and we would never know what happened during these meetings. We would only hear little spread rumors (someone would tell his wife and she would tell some person close to her). I remember one of the things the board refused was to have a girl partaking in the breaking of the bread ceremony because she was noted trying to talk with the others about working after praying and not committed to the sisters. They suspected she was moving in with someone she liked, this made us realize they were spying on us. I also knew that Elli, responsible for the place of meeting, orally reported the new members to the board. He reported about their lives, relationships, backgrounds, reputations!!!!!!!!!!!! This goes on with everyone with an ever valid excuse of saving the group from having a wrong person which would lead to a collective punishment. When I saw the work of this secret intelligence group, I started to have doubts about the faith of these people. They manage to create a dramatic and serious conflict in a respectable family by making propaganda about an innocent teenage girl, even before proving she was guilty, which she was absolutely not. This particular family was torn by the insensitiveness of their fellow brothers and sisters and by their lack of discretion and smartness in dealing with this situation. Of course, these untruthful rumors caused her and her family emotional and psychological damage as well as it compromised her personal future. I felt very angry and sad for this beautiful family which I loved dearly. I offered them my support and I helped in revealing the truth about the teenage girl's behavior since I was an eye witness. I just didn't understand how can true believers who are supposed to have the love of God in their hearts act in such a shameful and harmful way.
Priest, Prophet and an Archbishop in disguise
I learned to preach through a book translated to French. A Priest and a prophet was authored by the Maronite archbishop Yousef al Rai'i under pseudo name of Abu Mussa Al Hariri, published by Li ajl- Al Marifa Publishing House and Akl-Dyar in Lebanon. I also learned to preach through other books written by Egyptians, French and English. The first book was of a big size, 229 pages; it was based on confusing verses of the holy Quran, historical stories based on the prophet's biography written by Ibn Hisham and traditions (Ahadith) authenticated by Ibn Al Ather, Al Nowairy, Al Tabary, Al Masuudi, Al Shahristany, al BaghDadi (Muslim scholars and historians) and Sahih Bukhari, the Grand Layers, Aleppo Biography, corrections of some of ancient Islamic scripts done by Marson Johns, H. Riter, Al Azraki, and Sinklair Pisdel, the Orientalist. This book intended to convince the reader by the means of Islamic books, Quranic verses and the prophet's biography of the following:
- To prove that the prophet Mohammad (pbuh) was nothing but a king claimed to be prophetic and was convinced by the pastor Waraka Bin Naufal who translated a book called the gospel of Hebrew known as the gospel of Mathew the Hebrew which was thought to be the true one for a group of Jewish Christians. Yousef Al Rai'i also tried to prove that the Quranic verses, rituals and faith the prophet Muhammad preached were nothing but Ebionite heresy teachings. He also tried to prove that their Arabic recited Quran and faith was brought by a mentally disturbed apostle of whom Waraka was taking advantage of to preach the Christian faith under a new name.
- To prove that after the death of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh), Muslims added to the Quran verses calling to fight the Christians. Lots of verses are in contrast with waraka's translation (they prove that by slicing the stories from the biography and the four books of the prophetic traditions).
- To prove the cruelty of the Muslims and their control over the other territories by the power of swords.
I also went through specialized websites created by Christianized Muslims or orientalists in which one of them talked about women in Islam (Being a woman, I didn’t find any condemnation for Muslims. In church, I was more constrained than the Saudi women but in a different way).
I read about the killing of Bani Quraiza by the prophet (pbuh).
I also read a testimony book of the Christianized Sudani and another one from an Egyptian who was a leading figure in Muslim brotherhood. Another book I read was from an Egyptian who claimed his father was the head of al Azhar (the first Islamic university).
I read the life story of the Indonesian Muslim preacher who was fighting against Christian preaching with his family when suddenly he became a Christian preacher after dreaming about Christ. He had a scarfed daughter, sons and a wife, all active in Islamic preaching. He was shy to tell his family and friends about his new faith. So, he kept it secret until he found that the whole family had been Christianized the same way: by a dream. But no one knew about each other until a year and a half later when one son decided to express his faith. Their confessions came one after the other (I found out that the man and his family lived in an area where no one knew them and they were announcing that they were Muslims; their women wore hijab). A while later, a year or less, they made a fuss in their small town with this story causing a lot of Muslims to doubt their belief until a smart Islamic preacher handed out copies of an old family ID card with Christian names from birth. I learned all this information while chatting on the internet with a Muslim girl from Indonesia.
I read about Ahmad Didatt that fought Christians and therefore suffered paralysis depriving him from talking and walking (I didn't know then that he was more than 73 years old and his illness did not stop thousands of cassettes, videos, and books debating Christianity with dialogue from being sold or distributed all around the world and this even after his death - God rest his soul).
Also, I read verses online provoking Muslims to kill all non-Muslims.
I read about the prophet's marriage to a 7 year old girl among his 99 marriages. I also read about him murdering a poet who criticized him and about lots of terrifying stories, all from Islamic sources.
I was at a point of considering my self an expert in Islam. I decided to preach among Muslims and lead them to the right path of the Savior even though I detested the faith and was disgusted by its followers. I was getting more attached to the lord, peaceful Christ, and against the violent Muslim prophet while reading about Islam. I hold on more and more to my faith as long as I stead away from the doubts and contradictions of the holy book and the illogicality of attributing Christianity to Christ as he never taught it. I was postponing the hard questions until the next coming of the lord so I can know the secrets of the universe. Hence, there's no point in dwelling about Paul's contradiction to Christ and the embarrassment when reading specific paragraphs of the Old Testament (shameful pornography I will talk about it in details later). Why care about the diversity in opinions between brothers about rejecting Pascale to partake in the breaking of the bread (that was a problem for me because I didn't understand how could they disagree on a subject considered to be the duty of every believer in front of Christ knowing that the same Holy Spirit is living in each one of them. So how can there be different answers while there is only one Holy Spirit guiding the believers?). Why care about all of that stuff as long as Christ is coming soon to take me to heaven with him…..
A new Visitor in Church
Sister Ferial, a devoted Lebanese sister, had been in Canada for 40 years. She had one child, about as old as I was, but didn't share her spiritual beliefs. She was very kind-hearted. I loved her very much... From time to time I would stop by the bookstore to spend time with her before going to work.
After graduating as a registered nurse I started to work at a pediatrical hospital called Ste-Justine's hospital. The hospital was located near downtown Montreal and I enjoyed helping the sick children. I had to gain 2 years experience before becoming eligible to undertake post-graduate studies in specialized nursing (that's the law of Quebec) which was exactly what I was going to do.
Anyway, Ferial always kept those nice Lebanese olives and yogurt cheese (somehow like tzatziki) at the bookstore and we would have ourselves a delicious snack. My grandma and my aunt were the closest to me after my parents, but after knowing ferial, she and Leila became part of my family.
Pascale, a young woman who gave her life to God a couple of years after I did, was also very close to me. She was like the sister I never had. At first, she had problems fitting in our community, but she did eventually (she had a problem with leaving the outside world and her past life, she was almost my age and her parents were not believers but rather Maronites, Lebanese Syrian Catholics from Phoenician origin (as she told me). Her family came from a town near Sidon in Lebanon. They moved to Israel then to Canada in 1985 when she was a child. She hated two things the most: her inability to control her non-harmful emotional wimps (harmful to the church) and her hatred and contempt to Muslims, mainly Lebanese Muslims.
One day, Ferial was alone at the bookstore when an Arabic-speaking man in his thirties and a girl came into the bookstore.
"Hello", the man said.-
-"Hello, please come in. What can I do for you?"
These two people were Khodor and Reem. After spending 2 hours with Khodor, Ferial called a brother from the church, a Lebanese Syrian, to tell him that there was a Muslim wanting to attend the meeting at the church.
As fast as ever, this brother left his work (he had a textile shop), went to the bookstore, picked up Khodor and ferial and they went to church. When the 3 of them entered the church, Ferial's face was bright and shiny; it was the first time she succeeded in bringing a Muslim into the church though she was reborn from God for a long time. Reem left Khodor with Ferial at the bookstore and took the metro back home with her sister who was waiting outside.
One of our meetings was held every Wednesday's at 8 pm. We start by chanting and then a prayer (just like du'a for Muslims) is given by each man, one following the other (whatever he wants) till silence prevails and nobody approaches (we kneel with our heads on the chairs, listening, and replying amen). We regain our seats afterwards. Then, the senior brothers read a chapter of the holy book and each one interprets it in his way (only seniors were entitled to do so). There is only one thing different from the Baptist church: There is no preacher chairing us. The church chairs itself and Christ heads it (actually, Gabi was heading us; the senior ten were just like the priests).
Having Khodor at church that night had a unique influence. Joseph insisted on serving Khodor personally when at the same time Michel wanted to talk to him about the lord and invited him to dinner at his home with Brother Nicolas. It was so funny; they were also fighting over preaching!!!!!! Khodor was just like the turkey everyone wanted to cook. But not any turkey, no, a turkey perfect for promotion (a Muslim becoming Christian!!!!!) Their churches boasted their Christianity, recording it with their confessions and transmitting it all over the world. Our church, for example, can spread such news through 240 T.V. Stations in America alone by just a phone call or an email from Gabi through conference links connecting us to others. It seems that it has something to do with benefits given to church from the main communities.
I won’t say too much about Khodor's story with the church; however, I'll show how his presence affected us (last time they called the security to get him out of a conference). He just used silence -- question strategy. He listened to classes, preachments and prayers. Afterwards, he would ask about anything on the basis of a desire to know the answer to the questions that was coming between him and faith. That's why he was problematic to others; some saw him as a troublesome while others believed he wanted to understand and have faith, but as a Muslim, he was used to asking a lot of questions. The biggest problem was that he would submit the most complicated subjects to the church. An evening was attended by Yousef Reyad, an Egyptian preacher heading Egypt's brethren churches. Reyad has more than 100 pieces of writings. He comes as a visitor once a year; he tours the churches all summer and stays in Alexandria in winter—where the largest evangelical publishing house in the Middle East is emplaced. Of his books are "God's Aspiration: Proves that the Bible is God's Talk", "Devil in Our Lives", "Book of Vision Interpretation", "Sufficiency of Christ Death for the Salvation of Humanity", "the Christian Prayer", "The Cross", "Why Don't We Celebrate Christmas", and a lot more in addition to his teachings aired on satellite Christian stations.
Everybody waited for him to come to glorify the lord by listening to the Holy Spirit talking through his mouth. Supposedly, the questions were to be asked on the microphone so that every body could hear them. Gabi and Michel were against having Khodor attending the lectures, although we invited the drug addicts who sleep in the streets. Joseph and the others thought he needed a little more time to accept God.
That night I was confused and had interrogations because of the illogical answers of Yousef Reyad to a lot of questions that were brought up.
I wasn't the only one who found some new information about our religion. Leila, Ferial, Pascale, and Olga also were confused. I didn't know about the men. The biggest problem was that the lecture was attended by so many children and adolescents who listened had more questions and the adults needed to give them more explanations.
After the sermon someone gave this statement and asked the following question: “Mr. Yousef, you said that the holy book is inspired by God and will be preserved until the end of humanity and nobody can invalidate its work. I read in the introduction of your book, God's Aspiration, that "we didn't get the facts of beliefs by reason or by intellectual cleverness but rather by God's announcement to us through the holy book". Why didn’t Jesus just announce he was God and that he came on earth to die for our sins?
While they were talking, I was reminded that God in the Old Testament always talked openly to man, in the sense that he always clearly declared his identity. For example, when God talked to Moses in the midst of a bush on the mountain, he revealed himself as being God: “I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob”(Exodus 3:6). In Genesis chapter 17 verse 1, it is written that God spoke to Abraham and declared to him that He was the Almighty God: “the LORD appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God”. From these verses, I see that God doesn’t send ambiguous messages but is very straightforward in his declarations. If Jesus is God, why didn’t he reveal it to his disciples? Also, Jesus always spoke of himself as being a human and referred to God as being his God: “I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God”. Later that night I was reading in the epistle of John and a verse struck me like a lightning. I have read this verse so many times before and was even one of my favorites, but that night I saw it through a different light. The third verse of the seventeenth chapter reveals this declaration of Jesus: “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent”. I read this verse over and over again, as I couldn’t understand how I didn’t recognize it before. Jesus said that God is the ONLY TRUE GOD, and he didn’t include himself as being one with God. Wow, that was some revelation but my heart was feeling guilty of doubting the divinity of God. When I meditate upon Jesus life, I realize that he lived completely as a man. Jesus himself said that he spoke and did the miracles that God taught him (John 8:40; 12: 49-50; 5:30; 10:32; 14:10; Acts of apostles 2:22). I shook my head to try to get rid of these thoughts, because there must be some kind of explanation. As my father always told me that I didn’t need to understand, the faith that Jesus died for my sins was the only important thing for me.
Let’s go back to the conference room where the question period continued. As I was listening in my earphones, another verse from the Old Testament came to my head: “The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin”, Deuteronomy 24:16 (also written in 2 Chronicles 25:4 and in Ezekiel 18: 4, 20). Knowing that God does not change (Isaiah 43:10) and did not declare that He was changing the way of redemption, how is it possible that the same God who doesn’t accept that a man pays the price for another man’s sin in the Old Testament, accepts that Jesus dies for the sins of the whole humanity in the New Testament? How can this satisfy God’s justice? For example, if my friend steals a bank, is it fair that I go to jail for her crime? If the judicial system of our society ruled by imperfect men (man +woman) doesn’t allow an innocent person to take the blame for another person’s crimes, how can God the Almighty who is the Just, and perfect in his judging, allow it? Once again I shook my head and concentrated on the discussion that was held in the room.
The man continued talking: “As I know, Jesus didn't announce God because the holy book was noted down only a 100 years after his birth (he looked at the notepad he was holding and then opened the holy book and read, " All these things spake Jesus unto the multitude in parables; and without a parable spake he not unto them", Mathew 13:34". Jesus also was asked by the people why was he talking by proverbs. His answer was that they were not given the wisdom to understand God's kingdom as were the disciples. And in the very same book he continued, " Then Jesus sent the multitude away, and went into the house: and his disciples came unto him, saying, declare unto us the parable of the tares of the field." Mathew 13:36. And in Matthew 13: 51 it is written: "Jesus saith unto them, Have ye understood all these things? They say unto him, Yea, Lord." Could you please explain to me what you meant when you said it is not by intellect and wisdom but rather by announcement that we know the Christian truths, bearing in mind that Jesus himself said that understanding by wisdom is the way to know God? Also, if it was given to the disciples the wisdom to understand the parables why did they need explanation from Jesus?
Mr. Yousef replied: “Do you have any more questions?
So the man said: “Yes, please. In fact I have a lot. But I want to offer the floor to somebody else.
Mr. Yousef invited him to pursue with his questioning as God would answer them all at once.
As I don’t understand the Arabic language, a brother from the church translated instantly the sermon and the discussions through a radio channel that I would capture by a portable radio player. I was listening to the interpretation while there were video cameras recording; there were so many people there, not only members of our church who knew Yousef and liked his lectures, but people from different sects. His lectures were recorded on tapes, CDs, video tapes and sold at our bookstore, or sent to the world the next day (the brothers paid for his lectures because he makes his living by the Bible). Strangely, the questions following this particular lecture disappeared from the tapes although many requests were delivered to the bookstore asking for the Q&A of Reyad; it was suppose to be easy for him to answer the questions because he was serving God for the last 30 years just like his father was. Everybody expected an answer from him. But what followed was shocking.
Finally, the man continued and said this to Mr. Yousef: "You wrote in the same book that there are more than 10 thousands scrolls identical to the books we have in the holy book, some of which go back 2000 years. What is your explanation for a confusing subject that most of the credible sources like Archeologists and ethnologists say that what had been found is not complete, meaning that there is no whole complete copy of any book found in the bible. Out of the 10 thousands, there are only 30, incomplete and distorted scripts, that go back to 400 A.C. Some of the scrolls were not accepted from your church as canonical but as apocryphal books. For example, the book of Hermes and the gospel of Thomas are not currently part of the Bible and are not considered from you as the word of God. But these books were adopted by the Catholics until the 8th century. Some scrolls were found in Sinai St-Katrina while others were found in Naja Hamadi. Some of them you recognize as being incomplete and that they have been duplicated. There was an overload of books. So, if the presence of a script is a proof of the holiness of the book, it goes by extension to the other books that you deny their holiness as they were found together at the same place for the same reason. As for the 2000 year old script, the book of Isaiah along with thousands of scrolls had been found, one of them being the book of Genesis. When the American scientist Trevor published it in 1950, the whole world knew that the book found is completely different from the present Genesis of Christians and Jews. There are also other scrolls of books you deny. Some of these books prove that there are Christians who believe that Jesus is only a prophet and not a God, bearing in mind that the most important discoveries made about the book of Isaiah were in 1947 in Qumran valley near the dead sea; the archeologists in Haifa University allowed other scientists to have a look at the repaired version only 40 years later. So who knows what they have repaired and what they left out; can anyone guarantee their honesty?????
- Is the holy book you are reading now identical with the catholic one or you deny the holiness of their book? Is it the same for the eastern orthodox, the Lutherans and the Ethiopian Coptics?? Is it the same holy book for all Christian sects? As I know it is not. Why didn't the lord protect it from loss and addition?? Bearing in mind that the Ethiopians have one more book than the orthodox, the Catholics have 2 books fewer, and 6 or 7 books more that what you have. So, what is the true complete word of God? Is it with you or with them? If it were with you and you read a book only adopted in its current form, in the 16th century, why God left the catholic messing and adding to his word and announcement for 15 centuries?
- You say in your book that Jews are famous for preserving holy books and being keen on copying it accurately and that there are historical proofs that the holy books of the Old Testament we have were delivered to us intact. This means that you sanctify what they handed in with full integrity bearing in mind that the Jews see the songs of Solomon as a poetry book attributed to Solomon; therefore, it's not the talking of God. So, why don't you believe them in considering the songs of Solomon as Hebrew poetry folklore????
- Does it mean that their honesty in the death of Christ is the same in preserving the book? Since you talk about the honesty of Jews taking in consideration that the Talmud, God's words to them, is delivered orally from God to Moses and from Moses to his successors until it was noted down in the 2nd century A.C with full integrity. Hence, you deny this integrity. Whereas, you sanctify at the same time the story of Esther who sold her body to a pagan king. In a Jew's point of view, this type of marriage, which Jews escaped and abhorred disaster, was considered an adultery and causes God's anger while you consider it a blessing from God. You therefore, consider the book of Esther as part of the holy book i.e. God's words, forgetting that the word, God, Adonai, Elohim, or Jehovah, the lord, the God, does not exist in that book. More over, this story encourages women to sell their bodies in adultery for the sake of the lord's people. This is certainly not a message that God would want to give to his beloved ones.
- Can honesty be partial especially that the bible was not known in its present form until 324 years A.C. during the era of Constantine?
- Can you explain the sources of the first 3 gospels? Is it true, which I know it is, but just to make sure, that the gospel of Mark is the basic source from which Matthew and Luke quoted their gospels from? What confuses me is that it is well known that Mark was not an apostle of Jesus. Luke, the doctor, was Paul's companion and apostle. Both Mark and Luke did not see Christ but heard about him. Isn't it strange that you say that Matthew, the disciple and one of the 12 apostles of Jesus, is the author of the gospel of Matthew and based his writings on Mark's gospel, a man who didn't see Christ but just heard of him???? How can an apostle who saw, accompanied, lived, and followed Christ quote from someone who only heard of him????
- Is it true, which I know it is depending on Christian scholars' recognition, that there are chapters and even complete books that are referred to in the Old Testament, in the gospels and in Paul's letters that are no where to be found in the bible? These chapters or books are part of the Jewish book and you deny their holiness? So how could you accept quotations of forged books in your holy book? Does a messenger sent by God quote a phoney book?
A little while back, I asked my father the very same question but sadly he did not have any answer to give me. But that day I was relieved to see that I was not the only one who had interrogations concerning the writings of the bible and he wasn’t afraid to ask about them.
- Please explain to me the words of one of the leaders of your church when he said: "it should be said that the time between the writing of the original text and the next script lasted till now and this text is smaller in the present holy book than in any other piece of writing in Greek literature….. And despite discrepancies between many scripts of the New Testament, there is no essential christen doctrine that's built on any of the disputed readings" (Dockerym FBL, 182). Isn't this a frank acknowledgement of discrepancies in the scripts you boast about in your book????
- What about the version of the holy book that was printed, released for circulation and withdrawn 10 years later to cover up the scandal of distortion of a verse in the epistle of John, "the three are one". It was proven that this very same text is different from the Latin, Greek and Syrian text. It differs from every text that has been printed before; this forged verse which was withdrawn although you can find it in the margin, is the same as what you and I have now. In 1st epistle of john chapter 5 verse 7 all versions say exactly that there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; whereas the forged version at the end of the 20th century reads as, "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one." it is a clear falsification that has been apologized for on the basis that it has been an attempt of further clarification of the meaning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As the man was talking a remembered one day my parents and I were sitting at the kitchen table studying the bible together. We enjoyed reading the word of God together as well as singing Christian chants. That particular day we were reading in two different versions of the bible at the same time. We had the Darby version and the King James Bible. As we were reading, we recognized that there was an added verse in one of the versions. We found it strange that the seventh verse of the King James Bible did not exist in the Darby Bible. In the 1st epistle of John chapter 5 verse 7 and 8 of the Darby version, we read the following: “7 For they that bear witness are three: 8 the Spirit, and the water, and the blood; and the three agree in one”. As in the King James Bible, verses 7 and 8 of the same epistle reads as following: “7 For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one. 8 And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one”. I highlighted the added part in red so it would be easy to read. My father then took his Greek version of the Bible called the Septuagint (“La Septante” in French) and told me that the best reference to the word of God was this ancient Greek bible as it is one the oldest transcripts if not the oldest one. I felt jealous from him because I couldn’t read the ancient Greek language, but at the same time I felt happy because my father (compared to my friends whom their father didn’t know Greek at all) could read it and explain things to me. So in the Septuagint Bible the added verse was non-existent. My father could not explain why the verse was added in the King James Bible, but we should trust what is written in the Septuagint as the word of God and keep our faith in Jesus-Christ.
Mr. Yousef then replied the following: I'll listen to you until the end but I would like to let you know that we at the church also said that this book should be as its original version free of addition because God doesn't tolerate falsification.
The man then continued with his questions while the others were sitting restlessly; they could have jumped on him and have him seated had Yousef not been there.
Another question was asked by the same man: “How do you say that God was incarnated in flesh and that he lived among people, was crucified, and died; whereas the beloved john says in his 1st letter that "No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us." 1st John 4:12?????”
Mr. Youssef answered: “He means God the Father”.
The man replied: “But the father, the son and the spirit are one God , or are they not?”
Mr. Youssef said: “You will forget your questions. Go on and I'll answer this question later.”
The man asked: “When did God announce his truth to the Christians about the holy trinity? Why did he need the Emperor of Rome to kill half of the bishops and Christian leaders in the 4th century to impose the belief in deity not trinity as they did not believe in trinity until 60 years later from then (around 380 A.D). The fathers of the church upon whom you rely on to attribute the true teachings of Christ are Christians with a different belief then yours as revealed in their letters which are translated from Greek to Latin. Ireneaus, the bishop of Lyon and his followers, who lived in the late 2nd century and early 3rd, believed that Christ was not ascended to heaven until after he lived on earth grew old and passed away!!!!!! So how come you accept a quotation from a religious leader to prove something of your faith while denying other aspects of his beliefs?????
- The Old Testament reveals God as invariable, the same at all times. Is God in Christianity i.e. trinity the same as the unified God for the Jews? I mean that Jews didn't know the 3 hypostasis until 400 A.D just like the Christians. So, did God change or is it just that his announcement was not on time?
The man continued by asking this: “You say that God has been incarnated, died and resurrected. You say that by his death, our sins are forgiven; he died for us and our actions are meaningless if we don't believe that he died on the cross. You also say that nobody will be saved unless they believe that their sins are forgiven by crucifixion alone; Christ's blood on the cross is enough to expiate the sins of the whole humanity. My question is that if he loved us so much that he died for us, why didn’t he love us without dying or he couldn't forgive us but by his death???? I know you will tell me hat God's justice entails punishment for Adam's sin. I’ll reply by saying that if God's justice entails somebody dying for Adam, what kind of justice is that as long as Adam himself escaped the punishment. Do you think God's justice accept nothing but punishment? What about God's mercy, why doesn't it cancel his justice?? Aren't God's mercy and glory greater than his justice? Hitting, swearing, spitting, insulting Christ and assimilating him to animals, aren't these actions a violation to God's glory, if your doctrine were to be true? If I believed in God, prayed everyday for his forgiveness for a sin I didn't commit, and then a preacher told me about the lord who died and resurrected but I didn't believe him for I didn't commit a single sin. Is it fair to be put in the fire of Hell if I believed in God, prayed, and died free of sins without accepting the death of God as His forgiveness? But can't God's forgiveness be free of any conditions?
Solomon was given wisdom, as the fear of God is the wisest deed ever. But he didn't fear God because when he grew old, he worshiped an idol, the God of his 4 thousand wives as mentioned in the holy book. Still you think he was a man of God i.e. a savior. So, how can he be saved?
The Hindu believe that Fishno the God, has been incarnated in Krishna to save the world from all its sins. They made a hole in Krishna's body with a spear, exactly like Christ's story. Did the new trend quote the ancient one considering that Hinduism is hundreds of years older than Christ. When Krishna died on the cross, many disasters occurred; the moon was surrounded by a black corona, the sun went dark in the middle of the day, and the sky poured fire and ashes. Then, Krishna was resurrected and his body was ascended to heaven and many have seen him... Krishna is the first, the middle and the last (just like the Christ who today Christians preach about but Krishna was 2000 years older). He's the one who will condemn the dead at dooms day. Also, these people believe that when Argona appeared (one of Krishna's followers), his appearance changed, his face brightened and the eminence of God was present in the God of Gods. Argona bowed in reverence and awe, crossed his arms in respect and humbleness saying, "Now I say your truth, I beg you the lord of the lords, come and reveal to your humanity again, you're encompassing the universe". Krishna was filled with mercy and peace and he washed the feet of brahmas, he the peaceful hero who sacrificed himself. The pagan believed that Krishna saved the world from its sins. The last sayings of his were," leave the sins committed in the world fall on me, let the world be saved from punishment".
The pagan Aramaic savior
The Syrians used to believe that Kadmus suffered for people; for this, they called him the crucified and the savior, and they used to celebrate his memorial. Their priest used to tell people to trust the lord as the pains he suffered had brought them salvation.
The Greek savior
Before Christ, a Greek wrote about a person who was crucified by the priest on the mountain Asus. The story says that he was wounded and hurt because of the people's sins, and crashed because of their cruelty. He was persecuted, hurt and insulted without saying a word. The person crucified in this story is the Greek God savior, Brometeh.
- Ancient Egyptians respected Azores who was the greatest example of sacrifice one self for the sake of the people in order for them to get eternal life. Archeologists discovered the history of a person, just like Christ in birth, life, death and resurrection.
Brahma and Seta are the most famous Gods in India. It is said that Brahma was born from Bra’man, the greatest of souls in the lotus flower, as the story tells or in the golden egg as another version of the story tells. Seta was thought to be born from the marriage of Brahman to the dawn!!! Seta, Tafnis, Isis and Ausoris, the Egyptian Gods were also said to have been born from the marriage of heaven to earth. It’s the same with the rest of Gods. It was believed that they were born by the mergence of some organisms with each other an an indication to the virgin birth.
Doctrines in the Bible have counterparts of the pagan religions. Greeks used to say that Pythagoras was the son of Abibon the God and that he didn't die but would be resurrected after awhile. Egyptians used to say that Horas is the son of Auzoris. Native Americans/red Indians believe that the savior will come to this world, throw hail on the fire, and take care of all the people. Babylonians believed that Murdock would come back from the dead to suppress the insurgency that was happening in town. All these doctrines don't resemble Judaism, whereas Ebionite who were called heretic and other Christians of the holy land and the Arab region before Islam embraced a faith similar to the original Judaism and Islam more than to Pauline Christianity.
- The Greek allegations that Dionysus turned water to wind is attributed to their willingness to sell it and drink it. It is also due to the fact that they had many vine yards and wanted to sell their production; but Christianity forbids wine, as the holy book says, " And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;" Ephesians 5:18, and " Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder." Proverbs 23:20, 31-32.
- What about turning water to wine (john 2:1-11)?
- What about bread and wine Christ gave to his apostles, which Christians still have in their last supper/breaking of bread every Sunday. Bread and wine are also used by the pagan when they worship Mithra.
- Bread and wine were not only famous for the Mithra worshippers. Most of the people of Palestine and others used to enjoy it as a main course around the year. To go back to Torah, Moses promised Israel that God would bless their wheat and wine if they followed his judgment:
"And he will love thee, and bless thee, and multiply thee: he will also bless the fruit of thy womb and the fruit of thy land, thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep, in the land which he sware unto thy fathers to give thee." Deuteronomy 7:13.
David also said that God gave wine to man to please him and bread to support him, " And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man's heart." Psalms 104:15. He also said that the two major foods people were proud were wheat and wine, "Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased." Psalms 4:7. Solomon too said that the good people eat their bread with joy and drink their wine with good heart, "Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works." Ecclesiastes 9:7.
Assyrian King said that his country was a country of wheat, wine, bread and vineyard, "Until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of corn and wine, a land of bread and vineyards." Isaiah 36:17. This means that he was a Jew.
It is also known that the breaking of the bread and the wine drinking was a tradition practiced by the Jews as it is mentioned in 1st Chronicles 16:3: "And he dealt to every one of Israel, both man and woman, to every one a loaf of bread, and a good piece of flesh, and a flagon of wine". Jesus said that he was coming to accomplish the law and not to abolish it, which is exactly what he did, as well as practicing the Jews tradition involving the bread and the wine.
All this shows that Paul had no right to cancel Jews laws and codes as he did in his letter which were not accepted by all the Christians. It had also been forced by the roman tyrants with the cooperation of the bishop of Rome and his followers, as well as Constantine the pagan emperor of Rome who thought that circumcision and the Jewish laws would prevent the unification of his people. That's why he integrated pagan traditions within the Christian faith after adopting Paul's teachings. Paul's teachings were the closest to the Roman's religion as it didn't require anything from the person. It rather left all pagan feasts to be celebrated, such as Christmas. Eastern and western, suppressed true Christianity calling it heresy (see father of church's writing, Epiphanus of Salamis, Cyprus)!!!! So it is wrong to believe that the Romans could not change the faith of the whole Christians.
- It was said that when Buddha was born, a star flashed in the sky and a wise man came to visit him. When he grew up, he was tested by the devil and he selected 12 apostles whom he lectured under a fig tree. It was also said that he used the word of a mustard seed in his sayings and because of him, the blind could see and the limb could walk, just like it was said about Christ!!!!!! Isn’t it a coincidence that Christ biography in the 4 canons selected out of the 40 gospels Christians used to sanctify are based on Buddha's life, although Buddha is hundreds of years older than Christ?
If Christ is the son of God i.e. God himself or God announced, how can the following be explained?
1. “And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.”1st Corinthians 15:28
2. “And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.” Matthew 19:17.
3. “…Jesus of Nazareth, a man approved of God among you by miracles and wonders and signs,…”acts 2:22.
4. “But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father”,Mark 13:32.
5. "can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.” John 5:30 (This verse indicates that Jesus couldn't do anything by himself, so if he was God he wouldn't need help nor guidance from anyone).
6. “ Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God” John 20:17 (Jesus did not associate himself to God).
7. “…I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.” John 14:28 (Jesus does not equal himself to God).
Furthermore, the Christians take the birth of Christ from a virgin woman as a proof that he was the son of God or God. Melchisedek is then deemed to be a God as he was without father, without mother, without descent, having neither beginning of days, nor end of life Without father, without mother, without descent, having neither beginning of days, nor end of life; but made like unto the Son of God (Hebrew 7:3).
There is another verse that Christians rely on to establish their doctrinal faith of Christ as being God. It is when Christ said: "I and my Father are one.", written in the gospel of John 10:30. But it cannot be an indication that he is the same with the father in being or essence; it rather indicates a kind of alignment with him because he said in another place about his apostles the following: " And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are." John 17:11 (Also read John 14:20). It is certain that the interpretation of the apostles being one is not one in being or essence but rather one in love and in thinking.
What about Jesus talk to the Jewish leaders that it was written in their law that they were gods? (John 10: 34; Psalms 82: 6). Gods, here, means leaders, nobles and judges. His reply was very logical in order to convince the resistant Jews.
- "And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world." John 8:23 doesn't just indicate that he's human, just like us; it indicates that he was detached from the sins of this world. He once said to his apostles that they are not from this world: "If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you." John 15:19. Does it mean they are not human? No, it means that they are detached from the corruption of this world and the evilness of the people and not that they do not belong to the human species.
- What about Jesus testimony about himself that he is the son of man? Isn't an indication that he was a human being?
- Is it possible to have God born form a woman (with all his sanctity)?
- If it is necessary to have God incarnated, why didn't he show up in the world as an adult man instead of having him born from a woman, gone through childhood and grew in wisdom and stature in favour with God and man (Luke 2: 52)?
- Isn't God incarnation in one specific kind of people and indication of his impartiality, which doesn't go with his love to the whole humanity?
- If Jesus is God, why did he show up in specific places and didn't show up in all places so everybody could see him and believe in him?
The man intended to go on with his enquiry, but Michael approached him and whispered in his ear. The man then sat down. Later, I learned that Michael told him to give everybody a chance to ask their questions. He told him these questions and their answers are all written in a book. The man answered that the explanations in the book do not bring any clarification or understanding concerning these subjects. (I knew what was going on between them from my friend who understands Arabic as she is Lebanese).
Reyad: Does anybody else have any other question?
Then, questions came along. Questions like:
When is God coming? Is the one staying on earth after the rapture perishable? I love the Lord but I sometimes don't understand the blessing of salvation. What I mean is that I wonder why the lord chooses me out of millions? Why didn't he choose the whole humanity knowing that the Bible says we are saved by grace and that we were chosen before the beginning of the world?
Everybody expected to the preacher to answer the questions of the audience, the questions some of us were always afraid of asking. We always run away from them by praying and asking God to forgive our interrogations. It was almost considered a sin from the believer to ask these types of questions. Reyad answered everyone's questions keeping for the end the man’s questions. He addressed and lectured him the same way my doubts and questions were turned down before i.e. resorting to the lord who doesn't want you to understand but to believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr. Youssef then said: when God wants to bring someone to him, he doesn't alert nor convince. If he loves you and knows you are of the chosen one, he won't make you tired; he'll just enter your heart and warm it. You are just like Thomas. Thomas didn't believe that the lord was standing before him when he resurrected. He asked to touch the hole the roman soldier speared the lord in. Christ body was stabbed and Thomas refused to believe that he was still alive as he saw him being stabbed. When Thomas touched Jesus he then believed. Jesus said blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed (John 20: 29).
Mr. Youssef continued by saying: “I'll answer only some of your questions because there's not enough time. I'll give you a book which contains all the answers you are searching for but the most important one is to have faith: you don't need a proof if you believe in the lord’s salvation. It's enough for the sound believers to know that the lord sacrificed himself for him/her on the cross. Christians in the first 100 years didn’t know how to read nor about philosophy or any other subject. They were hunters and shepherds; they were illiterate. So would they ask Peter and John son of Zabadi to read every critique that was written about the Bible for the last ten years and answer them????? Of course not. The Bible says "And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. And they straightway left their nets, and followed him. "Matthew 4:18-20 … they followed him, brother. So if God calls you, you say yes my lord, I'll follow you leaving everything behind, amen!
Some applauded and others got embarrassed. As for me, I was not satisfied by his answers as they could be interpreted a thousand different ways. He was not strait forward. He revolved around the question and gave no answer. I remember another lecture given by a Christian brother in which he said that Christians understood the Book by the Spirit. Paul wrote in the years 50-60 A.D that "the entire Book is useful. The entire Book is from God". What book is he talking about? The shocking truth was that many of us know nothing about the history of the bible and Christianity. I, for example, thought the Bible existed in its present form since crucifixion. So I started to make a thorough research about these subjects. I didn't know the bible was authored over a period of 100 years and that it wasn't collected until after 400 years; the Bible the evangelicals have is different from the Catholics Bible (which existed before the evangelical one) and did not appear in the present version until the 19th century.
That was really surprising to me. I was also shocked when I read about the story of Constantine, the pagan feasts, the burning of the 40 gospels and the existence of Christians with a different faith. The sad thing was that one sister asked her brother about the date the Bible was exactly authored and he said he didn't know!!!!! He in turn asked another brother who knows the Bible by heart including the references with the numbers and the verses. The surprise was that he said he wasn't sure of the date as he never thought about it.
That was the shameful truth that we didn't think before embracing the faith: we just loved God and the Bible; we saw all its faults as advantages and justified them by… forgetting about them…
Later, I wondered if the disciples took a leap of faith when they followed Jesus or they followed him because they were convinced that he was the Messiah? They knew him before he called them to duty. They knew he was fatherless and that when he was a few years old, he was lost in the temple where he went with his mother to pray. When his mother looked for him fearing he was lost, she found him surrounded by priests, authors and Jews scholars debating, arguing and making his case as the Bible says. I wondered why the preacher ignored the fact that Zabadi's sons were Jesus' cousins among whom he was raised. So when he called them, he was announcing the beginning of a journey they knew it was inevitable. This means that they had the chance to understand, ask, and listen to his speeches. They were fully conscious when he called them. It is noticeable in John that apostles knew him before time:
"1- And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: 2- And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.3- And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.4- Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.5- His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.6- And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.7- Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.8- And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.9- When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom.10- And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now,11- This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him." John 2:1-11.
Mr.Youssef answered some of the questions like this:
- Melchisedek was described in this way in reference to his work and not as a reference for his identification. He didn’t take the job from a parent or a relative.
(I wasn't convinced with the explanation Reyad gave as I couldn't find any biblical reference to Melchisedek except the simple and self explanatory verse in Hebrew 7: 3)
- If we examine Christ life on earth, we see him loving everybody no matter what color they are (Luke 17: 16); he used to say "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28.
(Reyad only added insult to injury: instead of helping me, my confusion increased as I know by heart a chapter in complete opposition to this verse. It was about the Sumerian woman who asked Christ to let her drink from his eternal water. Christ replied saying that he wouldn't throw his food away to the dogs!!!)
Two brothers noticed our confusion caused by the many discussions and questions. We started to get the answers ourselves in the salon after the meeting where we used to have some refreshments before each one goes to his room. So, they decided not to allow "the noxious" come to our meetings again.
That night was scary for me. What scared me the most was the negative attitude towards the questions and the one asking them in addition to finding a reason to prevent him from coming again to Reyad's lectures. The lectures were supposed to go on for 5 days, 3 hours a day after 7:00 p.m. The lectures went on but the man wasn't there. I knew that a brother in particular could convince the others to achieve a compromise as some of them wanted to ask the man to stop coming, while some others wanted to give him his freedom and treat him just like any other visitor. The brothers had paid for the ads of Reyad's lectures, schedule, as well as posting schedules, titles and dates on many famous shop windows. So, how do you welcome everyone and plot to stop one of them because he asks too much at the same time?????? The solution the brother came up with was to ask the man not to ask his questions after the lectures in order to save the children, and teenagers who are not firm in their faith from confusion. He said to the man that he was mostly welcome at the conference but asked him not to embarrass them in front of the non-believers or not to confuse but instead offer them God's words and comfort. They agreed to have the man meet Yousef and this brother later on in the house on the last day of Reyad' s visit in order for the man to ask the shepherd of God, this wise man from Egypt whatever questions he wanted.
I knew about the secret discussions from the sisters. I wondered why they were worried about the people with weak faith to be confused by the questions. I, myself, went through such rough times until the lord comforted me through prayer and by trusting him, not depending on my own wisdom but rather on the salvation of the cross. Also we all had to trust that whomever was chosen by Christ was chosen not because he/she was better or wiser than the others but because it's a blessing God gave to the chosen ones, the lord's saints. I just thought of this: if we are chosen by God and believe that whomever the lord hold his/her heart and hands, the fires of hell won't touch them, so why fear or be anxious about anything????????
Even though I tried to block the questioning in my head on the presence of mistakes or contradictions in the bible and the absence or unsatisfying explanations for them let alone the doctrines of the Christian faith was changed by men I couldn’t stop myself. After 3 weeks of doubts and fear, I resorted to more praying and reading God’s words as it is the healing of every heart. I went back to my normal life until something strange happened.
It was in July 2002 at a conference in Toronto. All the churches of Montreal and Toronto and the surroundings were invited. The conference was held in a resort on the Grand Lakes stretching to Michigan, with huge conference halls and restaurants owned by the Salvation Army. I was at a point where I couldn't hide my anxiety and confusion. It had been 4 years since I saw that movie which turned my life upside down as an evangelical christen prayer, let alone the fact that I lived in this fundamental Christian atmosphere almost my whole life.
That conference was different. The chief lecturer was the Egyptian servant of the lord who lived in Egypt and took a yearly world tour. He was very famous; everybody was eager to listen to him although his lectures were in Arabic. It was not a problem for me as the interpretation equipment was always available. I myself was very excited to go to this conference because I needed a spiritual encouragement and I was sure to come back home after a 4 days trip renewed and refreshed by God’s words. Yet, three things had happened helping me decide to put my Christian faith trough serious questioning as an attempt to insure myself that I was in the right spiritual path. I did not discuss this with anybody as I didn’t want to be confused and I needed to do my research on my own.
Three signs
In one of the lectures, the preacher explained that the brothers (we didn't know which one) agreed not to let the believers of a different church (Baptist, Presbyterian and Pentecostal churches, among others) to participate at the last supper/breaking of bread. They consulted the lord through prayer and he decided and told them this decision!!!!!!! Immediately, one of the believers from the Baptist church of London Ontario took off the headphones saying in clear English:
"Mr. Samuel (he didn't call him brother)! Do you have any proof of the Lord’s decision? I paid $1000 as fees to this conference to enjoy the participatory spirit with other brothers leaving the brethren of my church in London at the time they convey the last supper/breaking of bread (some Baptists have their last supper/breaking of bread once a month). And here you are throwing us out. What are you afraid of? Of the participation of sinners you don't know?????? Do you know the sins of everybody from your church, unless you are closely monitoring them?????"
(One of the brothers tried to calm him down but it was in vain). Then, he continued loudly:
"I'm sick and tired of those who act as being superior to others. We are all chosen by God. So why do you want to disgrace his love by throwing us out and refusing to have the last supper/breaking of bread all together? Isn’t it the same what the Nazareth’s did, at least them, they didn’t claim to hear the lord's voice as you do."
He pushed the chair away and got out of the room. Some followed him to calm him down. (We learned that this person reacts strongly when anyone says they heard the lord's voice or the lord talked to them. He always asks: "I am a repentant believer and a devoted Christian since Vietnam War. Yet, I've never heard the lord's voice and I don't understand why. Maybe the lord didn’t choose me.)
The second sign was the departure of one of the ladies with her 2 teenage daughters (they were from the same type of church I belonged to but in another city). They left because of the refusal to allow them to participate in the last supper/breaking of bread: she forgot to bring a recommendation letter duly signed from 3 seniors known to our church. I was so moved, cried my eyes out in the prayer room as I watched the loaf of bread and the wine being passed over them to the next person sitting beside them. When she gently opposed in low voice, she was ignored. After the meeting, they told her the reason why and she left broken hearted saying that those who call for love and brotherhood need to learn how to love. She never came back to participate in any other church conference.
The third thing was during a lecture on Abraham, Hagar and Ishmael. Maher Samuel started calling them names and attributed them to the Holy Bible (like zebra, barbarian monsters), all of which are attributes Maher says God named Ishmael with. These attributes, as I think, were the reason to be excluded with his mother from his father Abraham's house. Maher attributed the different names to the different translations. Then he started giving proofs from the Holy Bible that God chose Isaac to be blessed because Ishmael was the fruit of Abraham distrust in the lord's promise that he would be given children. Abraham didn't wait the achievement of the lord's promise; he committed a human act (marrying Hagar). He then discussed the reason behind Israel (state) power attributing it to its sons, the sons of promise; whereas Arabs are weak because they are the sons of Abraham disbelief in God's promise!!!!
One of the people present was one of the seniors of the Egyptian Presbyterian evangelical church located on the corner of Cote Des Neiges Str. and Cote St. Catherine in Montréal. Many guests didn't believe that the speech of the preacher was from God. That man shouted in Egyptian Arabic accent:
"We are trying to keep the Jewish influence away from the evangelical interpretation. We fail because of people like you come to teach it! When does the Lord punish a child for his father's faults? How is Ishmael responsible for his father’s weaknesses? The lord doesn’t discriminate. Jews weren't distinguished because they were one of a kind, everybody should know this. They were distinguished because all the people surrounding them were pagan who sacrificed their sons brutally. Jews were blessed from God but when they stopped worshiping the lord and killed the prophets as they did with Elias, God threw them in hell. He destroyed their temple just as promised. If you're going to say that the Jewish are blessed nowadays, I would tell you that I went to Israel and what I saw there can not be compared to what it was written in the book about Sodom and Gomorrah. Sodom and Gomorrah sins were nothing compared to the corruption found in the state of Israel. So, how could God bless the children of Isaac who dance nude in prostitute clubs, or bless Abraham's Israeli children who lay nude on the beaches of Tel Aviv?"
I didn't know what this person said until late at night when I asked someone outside our church (everybody was informed by an elder brother not to talk about it). Often times the interpreter did not translate every word that was being said. Not because he didn’t have the knowledge or the capability but simply because he was trying to protect me. But protect me from what? The truth??? My father always used to tell me a well known saying that knowledge is power and ignorance is slavery. I didn’t appreciate that person taking decisions for me. I have a mind of my own and I can make my own judgments.
I was surprised that Maher didn’t reply. He just told him he didn’t have the time to answer him and asked him to stay after the lecture. I also knew that this person was 85 years old and was considered a troublemaker, an advocate of the apocalypse.
At night, everybody was in the hall of the resort, gathered around a piano. We were living together at the same resort. Some of us rented rooms in motels surrounding the resort. Brother N., an expert in the Holy Bible, accompanied our chants with his musical background. He was a member of a music band and we all started chanting for the glory of God along with a Jewish brother. This brother had his home turned into a church. He was among the visitors who came to preach once in a while. All of his church members were Jewish who accepted Jesus as their own savior. We sang in Arabic, English and French (I knew a lot of Arabic chants).
I, myself, had a recommendation letter when I first went at the church of Montréal? Did Jesus send his apostles to the world with a recommendation letter? The elder brothers say that it dishonors God to partake in the breaking of the bread with other people who commit sins. So it is very important to know the people you are with or have someone to testify of their sinless life. But how can anyone make himself a judge when the matter of the fact is that no one is pure. Nobody is without sin and nobody can know what happens behind closed doors. The only one in title to judge us is God.
I expressed my feelings and my thoughts to my closest sister in God. I didn’t think of her only as a sister in God but also as a real biological sister. She was the sister I never had. I talked to her about my feelings of injustice and confusion. I also told her about some of my unanswered questions and the fact that nobody gave me peace of mind. I shared with her my latest spiritual problems as I started to compare the stories written in the different gospels. I was shocked to find out that the narration of the same story is different in time, in place or in meaning from one gospel to another. Wow (in a negative way)!!! How can this be? I have read the gospels separately over and over again but I never recognized the differences among them. For example, in Matthew 11:14 it is written the following: “And if ye will receive it, this is Elias, which was for to come.” In this verse, Jesus said that John was Elias. But in the gospel of John chapter 1 verse 21, John declares himself as not being Elias: “And they asked him, What then? Art thou Elias? And he saith, I am not. Art thou that prophet? And he answered, No.” Who and what should I believe? As I know my father would say, it is not important to know if he was Elias or not. Faith in Jesus that he died for your sins is important to know and keep in your heart. But for me, every little word written in the bible is important because it comes from God and I expect nothing less than perfection when it comes to God.
Another difference in the story telling is found in the one concerning the following of the Christ by two of his disciples Peter and Andrew. In the gospel of Matthew (chapter 4 verses 18-20) it is written that Jesus asked Peter and his brother Andrew to follow him by the Sea of Galilee. This is in contrast to the sayings of John in his gospel (chapter 1 verses 28, 35-43) where he said that Peter and Andrew followed Jesus in Bethabara beyond Jordan. In these two stories, not only the places where the events occurred are totally different but also the way these events took place is in contrary to each other. In Matthew we see that Jesus told Andrew and Peter at the same time to follow him. As in John, it is written that Andrew approached Jesus first wanting himself to follow him and that Andrew told his brother Peter to come with them as he had found the Christ (Messiah). The evangelists believe that the gospels were written by men who were eye witnesses to Jesus life. They were testifying about the words spoke by Jesus as well as his actions and the events that occurred during his lifetime. So how come two eye witnesses declare differently a same event? This is a big question mark for me that cannot fade away.
While this sister and I were talking she expressed to me her sadness and misunderstanding towards the fact that the people going to heaven are chosen by God. She has always asked herself why God chose her and not her parents or her 3 brothers. How can she enjoy the kingdom of God while her parents are suffering in the fire with the devil?
She envied me as I would be in the kingdom of God with my family. Actually, half of my family will be in paradise with me because my brothers are not practical believers. I replied to her automatically: "But the lord knows us, chose us and our names are written in heaven before the world came into being.
I knew a lot about the 20 year old beautiful girl whom I called my sister. She believed through the preaching of her uncle, a Maronite attracted to evangelical belief by the book of the lord. He was the least cunning of all. He took care of her after she got to a point of depression. She couldn't survive but through faith. She was one of the members of Maronite Patriarchate in Canada. The activities of the patriarchate allowed her to have her first love with a guy from the boy scouts. Her grades at school were getting bad. Her relationship ended which made her feel very sad and lonely. She got depressed until the lord saved her through her uncle's preaching of the lord’s love and peace. She had a nice voice for chanting. Even though her heart was filled with the love of the lord, she felt a little bit nostalgic towards her past life; she often showed me her exciting photos in beautiful night gowns she used to wear when she went out to parties. She was keen to know what was going on in the world once in a while (she told me she went to the ceremony of the Maronite Boy Scouts in 2002 where singers and dancers performed and drinks were served. She had only one glass of light champagne). The knowledge of this event and the abstinence of divulging these informations to the elders of the church was enough for me to pray for the Lord’s forgiveness as they nurtured the sense of the community’s protection against the corruption of this world. The act of being at a party where alcohol was being served is considered by the church a sin and the act of actually drinking alcohol was even a greater sin which will cause the brethren of the church to take away privilege of breaking the bread if they had known about it. What Pascal did was participate with corrupt people in their devilish celebrations (in his book, Reyad says that one of the devilish ways of tempting the world is by making parties where drinks and dissoluteness are involved).
The sanctity of God
In his book, Kemple says that discipline is inevitable!!! “O LORD, thou hast ordained them for judgment; and, O mighty God, thou hast established them for correction Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity: wherefore lookest thou upon them that deal treacherously, and holdest thy tongue when the wicked devoureth the man that is more righteous than he?” Habakkuk 1:12-13. That's why the holy was demonstrating his authority at his home where no sin was allowed to go unpunished, hence he should keep his home pure as David says " He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight." Psalm 101:7.
It's important to remember when discussing about discipline that the church is considered "the house of God" and not the body of Christ.
Being so close to my sister in age and friendship, it could be understood the reason why I didn't tell the brothers about what she did no matter how guilty I felt. However, that feeling was not mutual. My fiend didn’t seem to think the same way.
We went back to Montréal after the end of the conference. We said our goodbyes to the participants from other cities, some of whom were from the U.S.A. and wished to meet them again at the next conference. Our church organizes annually (usually in September on the week-end of Labors day) lectures at a resort near Montreal. Some agreed to meet in Detroit, Lebanon, London, Chicago, and Memphis; all these cities host conferences where subscription is available to seniors and church leaders for discussing and coordinating the churches events and meetings.
The Beginning of the End
After the conference, I noticed some psychological changes happening to me at work, at church and with everybody. I'll first explain what went on between Maher Samuel and one of the sisters regarding me. It was Ferial herself who told me about it.
Maher was asking Ferial about the needs of the bookstore concerning Arabic books. He informed her about the shipping of newly printed Arabic books. She told him I worked as a volunteer at the store and that everyone thinks that I'm one of the best sisters. She told him despite my young age I was mature in faith. She talked to him about my parent’s belief and that I was completely devoted to the lord as well as being one the most passionate person attending prayer meetings. She also told him that everybody wished me as a wife. Some men tried to make me pray for them but I refused because I was waiting for the lord to choose for me. She told him that families in our church set me as an example for their daughters and a pedestal for them to measure up to. Maher asked her to pray for me and someone (meaning to pray with the intention of marriage- matchmaking) of the same level of faith. The one chosen was a senior founder who was 18 years older than me. They talked to me about him but the lord didn't make me feel right about marrying this guy although he was very rich; he owned a house and many buildings. There were only a few bachelors in our church and we cannot marry a non-believer even if he was a Christian in name. Everybody thought that the brother in question was resistant to marriage and wanted to live for the lord as he feared having a wife and kids would constrain him from the service of the lord. But he accepted to pray for me as I would surely be of help to him rather than a constraint. I was distinguished among them as I didn’t care about the language differences. I didn’t leave the church for a similar one that spoke my mother language. I participated in all its activities as I considered this church the most pious and professional in following Christ.
Those were some of the compliments I received. However, there were a lot of things I didn’t know about them until I challenged them and left them. I left them with a theological dilemma they are still suffering from: they believe that once God caught someone’s hand He never lets him go.
I can't say that I wasn't genuinely a believer or that I faked it, terrified of living in hell and living far away from the corrupt world and its pleasures. On the contrary, with a strong faith I confessed my sins and accepted Jesus as my personal savior at the beginning of the year 1998. After that day I lived my life with a firm belief and did not express it just to please somebody. I was one of the pillars in church regarding faith, one of the well-recognized workers in spirit (I thought I was being led by the spirit). Yet, they had someone spying and following me. They were so confused and sad by the rebellious signs I was showing; yet, they tried not to make me feel it.
At the same time, I made up my mind on doing something really difficult. I cried my eyes out when I started it. I shivered of fear and awe: I decided to review all things that I took for granted all my life. I decided to start from scratch in faith. I kneeled, prayed, and asked God for help by saying," Oh, Lord, you know how much I love you. You gave me a hand to move, why don’t I move it? You gave me eyesight, shall I close my eyes to not see. You gave me a mind and the ability to think, why can't I use it to reach your truth. Help me to know you and take the doubts and confusion out of my head and my heart, Amen."
All I cared about was to know the truth which I never doubted that it would enhance what I already believed in. But it would be a starting point to change my way of thinking of God. I vowed to glorify the lord in everything I find. I remembered a lecture once delivered by a brother when he said he lived for years in fear and confusion created by the readings of the books of Jehovah's witnesses as he didn’t know how to respond to their lies and falsification. These years were tiresome but his firm and strong relationship with the lord protected his faith; his assurance that the lord is right and Jehovah's witnesses are wrong fortified him against misconceptions. Praying to the lord brought him peace. He said the lord inspired him so I knew I had to search for the answers I was looking for concerning the lord and the holy book. I said to myself that I would do just that so I could be happy the way the brother was.
I set a plan to follow. It goes like this:
- Researching the historical evidence and references about Christ, the Bible and the apostles.
- What happened after crucifixion?
- What happened to the apostles?
- Who authored the canons and the gospels?
- When were the books collected in one unified book, and who certified it sacredness.
- The truth of salvation in the old and new testament.
- Was the trinity doctrine originated from the time of Christ?
- What about the 40 gospels? Is it a historical truth or just a lie created from a non-believer?
- What about the similar stories to Jesus death and salvation of the world?
In short, apart of any further details about what happened with the church and its spies, I'll narrate what I did to reach the divine truth by God's greatest blessing: reason.
A Journey through History
Christian faith and religion can be summed up into:
-The belief that God has been incarnated: the incarnation doctrine.
-The belief that the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit are one: the trinity.
-The belief that the son of God is the only savior; he got crucified and died in expiation for the sins of the humanity: the savior-sacrificed doctrine.
The rest are details. As for the holy book of all Christians, it is the Holy Bible. It is God's words written by the saints, men of God driven by the Holy Spirit. This is what every Christians know. But when you ask any Christian about the identity of these men and how to prove they were driven by the Holy Spirit, I'm sure the answer of many will be the disciples of Jesus or "I don't know".
The first word I googled was "Bible". I started reading articles and books, one after the other. I read the catholic encyclopedia, the letters of the fathers of the churches, the history of the early Christian historians online in free pages like the Christian encyclopedia catholic encyclopedia, and the Vatican library. I also read in charged pages like encyclopedia Britannica. I went to the library of Montreal University and read books like Pierre Wheeler's Ordinaire ce Livre Extra, and Josh MacDowell's Evidence That Demands a Verdict which defines why the Holy Bible is holy and the drawing of a road map to systematically achieve this aim. I’ll comment on MacDowell's through the outcome of my research in which I applied the contradictory conviction methodology i.e. I review the pro and cons in each case leaving it to the intellectual likelihood/preponderance and sharp evidence to have the last say. I tried as much as possible to hide my affection which was, until then, directed by habit and emotions toward believing everything supporting my Christian faith: 60% of the battle was unconsciously definite in favor of the Holy Bible credibility and sanctity.
How did we get the Holy Bible?
Christians say, among them is Josh MacDowell, that the element determining the deuterocanoniality of any book of the old and the new testament is the divine inspiration, and the main criterion is apostolicism. Geisler and Nix say that the church in the new testament was built on the basis “of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone” Ephesians 2:20; “the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth” John 16:13; “And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship” acts 2:42. As for the term "apostolic" used to judge the canonicity of any book, it does not necessarily mean "apostolic writing" or "written under the supervision of apostles" (Geisler and Nix, GIB, 283). Geisler and Nix agree with Lewis Josen, B.B. Warfield, Charles Hodge, J.N.D. Kelly and most Protestants that the apostolic authority or acceptance is the main criterion for the canonicity of any book, not just the plain apostolic writings (ibid).
N.B. Stonehouse indicates that the apostolic authority revealed in the New Testament can’t be seen outside the lord's authority. There is a firm recognition in the letters of the New Testament that there is only one absolute authority: the lord's which the apostles spoke on his behalf. For example, when Paul defended his authority as an apostle relying on his thesis of being sent by Jesus (Galatians 1:1-2); when he defended his authority and his right to organize life at church, he relied on the lord's authority even if he did not receive it directly from the lord (see 1st Corinthians 7:10; 14:37) (Stonehouse, ANT, 117-118). John Murray comments that the only one in the New Testament who talks with self authority is the lord. I have one question concerning the divinity of the bible. If the words written in the holy book were inspired by God, why does the twelfth verse of the 1st Corinthians chapter 7 exist? Paul specifically said in that verse that he was talking from himself and not the Lord: “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord…”
Even the opponents declare that the reliance on the divine inspiration to prove the canonicity of the Holy Bible is beautiful. However, anyone who believes so has to know the reason behind the inspiration. God had (and still has) a message to transmit to the humanity and He did so by sending particular individuals. These individuals chosen by God would announce Gods prophecies in order for the people to be good in this life and gain the afterlife. It was well known that one of the most spreading news amongst the believers of the descendents of Jacob in Egypt was that a prophet would come to save them. Grounds were always laid to prepare the coming of the prophets and each prophet would announce the forthcoming of the next prophet. When Moses showed up to the people announcing God's commands, he didn't proclaim a new God and new teachings. As I expressed earlier in the book, God identified himself by saying “I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob”. He did not say I'm the way and the life; who drank of me will never feel thirst. God didn't restrain his divine glory or hide his greatness.
Moses revealed his books years before his death and brought his teachings to reality in front of his followers. He was a living example of a good believer for his people and his followers afterwards walked in his footsteps sending the same message he had. And when those who came later manipulated the torah by adding to it, they didn’t claim the addition was inspired by God. God preserved the laws. And they know until this day what the torah is and what are the forged apocryphas, even if they deny it for secular reasons.
Whereas when it comes to the Christian faith and the perpetual of the Christ’s message should logically be fulfilled by Jesus’ disciples as they followed him, heard his speeches and witnessed his saintly behaviors. In front of the people Jesus appointed his 12 apostles and sent them to the world to preach the kingdom of God. Moreover, he attributed to one of them a special position in the mission. We can read in the gospel of Matthew (chapter 16 verses 18-19) that Peter was the rock upon which the church would be build on and that he received from Christ the keys of the kingdom of heaven. This means that Peter understood very well that Christ was the Messiah that the Jews were waiting for to save them. Now, were the Jews waiting for God to come or a prophet? The Christians believe that if Jesus had the power to give the keys of the kingdom of heaven to Peter this automatically means that he was God. But Jesus himself declared that he did nothing from himself but by the power of God. Jesus had received the authority by God to spread the news of salvation and whoever understood this message and applied it to his life would also obtain the keys of the kingdom. After denying knowing Jesus three times, Peter repented for his sin and fulfilled his duties by telling the people to return to God by repenting, believing in God and making good deeds.
A REVISER: Christian history reveals that Peter walked behind Paul’s footsteps to all the cities he had gone through in order to advise the people not to listen to Peter as he was lying concerning the message of salvation. Not only did Paul never met Jesus, as he was living in a different city but he also persecuted and killed Jesus followers (Acts 9: 3-5). After hearing Jesus voice on the road near Damascus, as it is written in Acts, Paul began preaching a different message than Peter. Paul preached that the salvation was gained through faith in the crucifixion of Jesus alone and not by accomplishing good deeds.
A REPENSER: Therefore, there are two different messages concerning the salvation of mankind found in the New Testament. On one hand the eternal life is gained by faith and good works as declared by the apostle who was named as the rock upon which the foundation of the church would be laid on by Jesus. James also stated in his book that the man is saved by faith and by works: “Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only” (chapter 2:24). On the other hand, the apostle who claimed he heard Jesus’ voice revealed that eternal life was gained by faith alone.
The contribution of the appointees of Jesus in today's Christianity is nothing compared to Paul’s teachings. As the evangelicals say, the gospels were written for the Jews and the books of Paul were written for the “gentils” meaning the non-Jews.
The laws existed even before the time of Noah. If anyone says that Noah had no laws, we then ask the reason why he said in genesis 6:18 "But with thee will I establish my covenant". Can anyone explain what a covenant is if not a law? This is illustrated in Genesis 9:1-17 in which the lord specified what is allowed and what is prohibited for Noah and the people on earth and one example is the following: “Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed” 9: 6.
What about Abraham? Did he receive any commandments from God? The answer is affirmative. Although Abraham’s family worshipped God by the mediation of the sun, the fire and the stars, he did not comply with them in their worship but adored the only true God without any associates. Abraham was given the laws in which God lessened the provisions imposed on his predecessors in alignment to the development of humanity or in compliance to the divine wisdom. The imposition of paying the tenth to Melchisedec and the commandment to circumcise every boy on the 8th day of his life are examples of laws given to Abraham by God. Abraham himself dictated his laws to his followers, taught his children who their God was; he didn’t replace God nor added to him. God, the one and only, didn't change from the time of Noah to the time of Abraham as it is the case with Christianity where it is hardly known who the supreme is. Who holds and who is being held.
Jesus was the messiah of God whom Moses nation was waiting for, whom the wise men knew about his birth by a star, whom the kings waited for to kill, whom for the voice of John the Baptist shouted in the wilderness laying the ground for him. When he came, he didn't replace nor change his predecessor's laws. He was a light upon lights that were shone before. Those who had faith knew him and the non-believers did not deny him.
He then lays the ground to the apostles by giving them to understand the kingdom of God. Suddenly, after his ascension to heaven, someone (Paul) showed up with no connection to him neither by blood, nor by sight and with no reference in any apostolic books or speeches. This person started changing the laws and convents that were given by God to Noah, Moses, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and the Jews. He also dared on God: he called on the people to worship a God they didn't know, which can be a proof for the saying of the prophet that " you know the false prophets if they call you to worship a different God".
It was the end of the 1st century when the lawful Christianity of God became the Christianity of the pagan and the shed bloods in their feasts of the sun and the moon. The word of the prophet was lost at the alter of the greed pretenders until God passed his judgment and sent the holy Quran protected till the Day of Judgment. So, the rightly guided believers had followed Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad (pbuh).
The bright truth was mentioned in the history of the churches and its fathers. According to highly credible Christian authors recognized by the Christian churches that Christians were divided into many categories after the crucifixion of Christ. Among the most famous are the Pauline, Jacobean, Ebonites and Nazareths. What we know abut the last three is not based on their own sources or any other unbiased sources. We only know what their opponents authored and attributed to them. It shows as Irenaeus, Ibiphanous, Justinian, and Tirtilian that they were totally against Paul; they considered his teachings as a deviation from those of Christ. Jacob, son of Joseph the carpenter, Christ's adopted brother who chaired the church in Jerusalem after the death of Peter, was one of Paul's opponents (it is believed that he went to Rome to prevent Paul from spreading the solar teaching and falsely attributing it to Christ, so he got killed by the Romans, Paul's pagan friends). It should be remembered that all Christian sects admits that Paul and James were in conflict and animosity existed between them to the extent that all the letters of Paul contain self defense, blame and condemnation to his enemies who accused him of destroying the soul of the true Christianity by falsifying the laws of Moses by which Christ himself lived and respected. The interesting thing is that the only letter attributed to James, head of the first church for 40 years is almost identical to Jesus sayings whereas it's totally in contradiction to Paul's teachings.
In his letter to Timothy, Paul says “Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine” 1st Timothy 1:9-10. In 2nd Timothy Paul addresses his opponents who blamed him for contradicting the laws and allowing his pagan followers to abandon Moses laws as they were not willing to pay him donation or to leave out their traditions which he integrated in the teachings attributed to Christ.
He fiercely condemned his enemies (the 12 apostles of Christ who expelled him from Jerusalem, James in particular who was fiercely disagreeing with him and tried to kill him in the temple before Paul fled away). This incident is mentioned in the letters of the early fathers of the church in Greek but was ruled out in the Latin translation. Nonetheless, unbiased scholars retranslated it to modern languages and it is available on line.
In 2nd Timothy 3:8, Paul says “Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith”. Who does "these" refer to? He explains in Hebrew 10:38 and 11:1-12 that the just shall live by faith: and only by faith.
Whereas James says "But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves….For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass…For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was…But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed" James 1:22-25.
How could salvation by the cross of Jesus Christ be related to this teaching which has nothing to do with the teaching of today's Christianity?
James goes on saying "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all. ……." James 2:10; and in James 2:14-22 he responds to Paul's allegations and heresies saying " What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? Can faith save him? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Thou believe that there is one God. Thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar? And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God."
I wanted to set the comparison between Paul and James to lay the basis to all the following research. This is done by differentiating between the two logics of addressing the same issue. The question is how did we get the Holy Bible? There are 2 answers: the first is based on James's logic that is a continuation of a consecutive prophetic legacy and a continuation to Jesus of the torah who doesn't claim any authority outside the continuity of the prophetic Books from Adam to Moses whose coming had been foretold by all the good men before him. This introduction cost John the Baptist his head in the realization of the prophecy of Isaiah when talking about the one born from a virgin (Christ) and about the shouting voice in the wilderness (John the Baptist). This logic is identical in essence to that extent that if you take out the names, you wouldn't recognize the talks of Jesus from the talks of Moses, Noah or Abraham, especially when it's about God and how to satisfy him. Whereas the second is based on the contemporary Pauline Christianity which is an orphaned logic with no historical connections to all the precedent divine religions, Abraham, and Moses in particular. The first is well known, that's why Moses didn't need to explain to his followers what God is for they knew him; he didn't need to explain what prophecy meant for they knew all its manifestations. It is the same with Abraham and his followers who went with him in his exile journey which was in obedience to God. Nobody asked Abraham who God is. Lott was not asked about the secrets and the relation between the father and the son. Nor those who believed in Noah and boarded his ship in obedience to God commands asked about the secret of resurrection; nor Essu followers convened a "Nicene council to define the nature of what they were worshiping, is it deity or trinity. It is Paul's followers who needed that. Nor Solomon led all the leaders of people by force to the temple to make them accept his receipt of salvation of Adam's sin. The judges of Israel didn't need a protestant revolution to be allowed to read their holy book (Paul's followers needed that). Why??? Because what Abraham came with was familiar to the people even if they didn't follow it. Moses God was Abraham's God, so why do people need someone to tell them about the relation between the priest God, the intermediate between the father and the people (Paul's followers needed that). They didn't need anyone to explain to them about the limitation/punishment of God who’s less and better than an angel; they didn’t need anyone to explain about God by which everything was created. He's the same that Paul says needed an angel to strengthen him. It is because the God of Jesus is perfect, almighty and omnipotent and while the God of Paul is strange.
The God of the believers' from Adam till Jesus Christ didn't change, neither in nature nor in salvation in terms of satisfying him. What changed is Paul's God by Paul's teachings, and Paul's holy books; the books that the Pauline’s needed 400 years to have as a unified material to be glorified/sanctified even by force; whereas the Bible of Jesus, and then James and Peter and the 12 apostles, have one well known God from the time of Adam and Abraham. The salvation Abraham introduced is the same as Jesus', Moses' and John the Baptist's; it's also the same salvation James' and the martyrs of Christ followers proclaimed who got killed and martyred in the hands of the Pauline Christians.
The choice is clear. The choice of the prophets worshiping one great unchanged God; or the choice of the proof-less salvation of a prophet whose message was filled with of distortion and falsification of what had been founded. The first option is self indicative while the second is by force. You are forced to believe because the lord of he Pauline’s said so and continued saying from the time the Council of Nicea was held to the time of Yousef Reyad, Maher Samuel, Pat Robertson and all the other evangelists’ preachers. The lord told the Nicenians that the four canons are better that the other forty ones. This is their answer. The biblical Jesus and the teachings of his true followers is the same as Moses' and Abrahams'. It is self-evident, one message held by many messengers. It was and it still is unchanged even if many individuals attempted to manipulate and falsify it.
I wonder who to believe?? Shall I believe the one who didn’t know Jesus, nor saw him but claimed he was his apostle? Or shall I believe Jesus’ brother James, who was born and lived near Jesus and took care of the apostles? Shall I believe Paul when he said not to follow the law??? Or shall I believe Jesus when he celebrated the Jewish Easter, prayed in the temple, taught people according to the law and asked whoever wanted to be saved "do you know the commandments", if yes, then Jesus replied " do as the commandments say and you will inherit God's kingdom (the commandments are the laws). Paul proclaimed the entire book to be useful, 2ndTimothy 3: 16-17. If he meant the book we have now, it did not exist in that time. And if he meant the old books (the Torah), he just condemned them and invalidated its content as well as his own writings because he declared “that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane…”, and that Jesus became a clerk priest (Hebrew), hence no need for the law present in the books bearing in mind that everybody acknowledge that the letters of Paul is precedent to the gospels authorization and the other letters; and 70 years before the book of revelation as Christians acknowledge. So what book was he talking about? Or was he just describing the future holy book?
After research, I concluded that there are two testimonies: one of Justinian the martyr and the other is of Epiphanius. These testimonies say that James followers of the Ebionites, the Jacobeans and the Nazareths (the poor to God in Aramaic) had one gospel of one book from the very beginning; that was the gospel of Matthew the Hebrew, this gospel, as Ebionites believe, had been dictated to Matthew by Jesus himself. However, Irenaeus and Epiphanius say that these people are heretic because they believe that Jesus is only a human and a prophet and that he had never been crucified but rather saved by God after the betrayal of Jude. More specifically, they believe that Jesus was ascended to heaven. Irenaeus continues quoting from a book called the gospel of James that Christ made a bird of clay and he revived the dead and talked with a child and that his mother Mary ate the rip palm fruit after she delivered him under a palm tree rather than in a cave. Irenaeus also quoted that Ebionites and Jacobeans prayed 3 times after washing their hands and feet; they also imitated Christian praying i.e. they fall on their faces like Jesus did and they don't eat bacon because it’s filthy.
All the books of Ebionites, Jacobeans and Nazareths were burnt. These people were sometimes called heretic and other times called the Christian Jews. They were persecuted along with the Christians. Most likely they were the sect that lived in Qumran valley, beside the Dead Sea and then moved to the Arabian land and stayed there until the coming of Islam. Most unbiased historians assure that after Rome converted to the Pauline Christianity in 325 A.D, the Romans burnt them alive under the order of the bishop of Rome, chased and killed them and burnt their books (some of which were found in Qumran valley).
So, who shall we follow?? Jesus and his followers or Paul and the idol worshipers like Constantine who lost and defamed Christianity?
As a result of my research, I found out that all the historians agree that:
- Christianity involved many sects and doctrines, some of which are not related, some consider Christ as a prophet, and others see him as an angle, others less than a God and some see him as a God. Most of the later are the pagan Romans and Greek who converted to the new religion according to Paul's doctrine “believe and be saved” for it's so easy. Their discrepancies were a threat to the emperor who was newly out of a long struggle for the thrown. He only won the battle when the Christian soldiers supported him after he raised the cross on his army's flags after seeing the cross one night in his dreams (although he remained pagan and only got baptized on the night he died). The emperor decided to unify Christians by force and make alliance with the bishop of Rome because he feared to lose the major component of the army (the bishop of Rome came to be known as the pope after the establishment of his religious authority with the help of Caesar who imposed him over the rest of the churches).
To do so, he convened the first council of Nicene in 325 A.D. with 250 bishops most of whom were from the east that is different from the roman Christians. Most of the west Romans followed the Gnostic theology, the flowers of “Marcion” who believed in a secret doctrine that views Christ as a ionic creature that has nothing to do with Jehovah, the God of Jews who they see as the devil, hence there was no need for them to attend as they already approved of them. I’ll discuss later about the Gnostics. The Easters were forced to come with their books, scripts and publications under the military supervision. After the escalation of discussion between a majority who believed that Christ was a created and a minority who saw him as a creator. Constantine, the pagan worshiper of the sun, had the last say imposing the opinion of the minority over the majority. And for some reason, unknown to historians, the number of bishop present was less after the conference ended than when it began. Many were killed because they opposed the emperor. Some were exiled to remote places taking with them the strong influence they had upon the Christians who followed them and their books were burned. As for the books, historians are sure that the discoveries Christians boast about today as a proof to their allegations of the inspiration of the holy book forgetting that most scrolls found were authored after 400 A.D. that is after the Nicene council where at the end of the conference a huge group of authors and scholars were charged with the job of aligning all the gospels and to select the books that will be included in the bible. This imperial new born will be forced as the holy book of the Pauline Christians resembling that of the Catholic's but with one book added and two books missing. The added book is Hermes and the missing books are Hebrew and Revelations which the church only acknowledged in the 9th century to please the remaining opposing bishops. The roman Caesar concluded the debate by force and some of the opponents accepted what Caesar decided; he rewarded them by adding the letter of James to the Holy Bible although it could destroy the foundations of the present Christian faith. When the authors finished, Caesar made thousands of copies and send them all to the churches of the whole Roman Empire. All the other books and gospels were burned under the supervision of the bishop of Rome. Of these were the gospel of Matthew the Hebrew, the gospel of James, the gospel of Thomas, the gospel of Mary, Peter's revelation, Paul's revelation, the gospel of the Egyptians, the gospel of Barnabas, the gospel of Stephanus, the gospel of John the apostle not the author of the gospel of John-- a Greek follower of Papias, a follower of john the apostle, as Christian theologists believe. Churches were turning a blind eye on that, they were vague in a kind of materialization to the rule that Josh MacDowell proposed i.e. why need evidence? It's from the lord!!!!!
It’s also said that Christians had 40 gospels with hundreds; some said thousands, of books attributed to apostles and the spirit. Could God possibly leave a great message with a pagan like Constantine who was announced saint after his death?
Is it possible for a man with reason and logic to accept a hypothesis in today's Christianity entailing that the gospel of Matthew was taken from the gospel of Mark? The one who lived with Christ quoted the one who only heard about him and never saw him. It’s only seen in the following context: Mathew the apostle did not author the book present in the bible. He only authored his gospel inspired by Jesus the prophet, the messiah of God which was acknowledge as heretical by St. Irenaeus. This book was destroyed by the Pauline Christians by adding to it some Gnostic, roman, Hindu, Buddhist, Egyptian, and Syrian literature. The purpose was to align all the belief of the empire with what the emperor demanded: one book, one feast on the day of the sun (Christmas) in December. (The only advantage of my church is that they don’t celebrate Christmas for it is a pagan festivity. But they do not reject what Constantine the pagan did completely. Rather, they believe God used him to spread his word).
While reading about Constantine the emperor and how his actions changed the course of the holy bible I felt myself falling from the sky at high speed and came crashing down. I used to think that the Holy Bible could absorb all the attacks just like the lion that eats its enemies. In a split of a moment, my genuine and firm faith in Jesus as God was destroyed. My belief in the salvation by the cross had no more foundations. I felt very angry at God because he had left the men with power transform his word and he had left the weak people be guided by them on the road straight to hell. The bible that I considered as holy turned out to be a mixture of papers containing the word of God and the prophets, the word of authors and historians, the word of liars and lewd kings and forging priests. The evidence will come gradually.
Is the Holy Bible historically documented?
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to be continue .
2 comments:
assalamu alikum sister, may allah forgive you and all Muslims Ummah inshallah.... I am read your story, and I liked it so much ... I am looking forward to the rest of it. jazaki allahu khayran.
assalamu alikum.
Salam alaikom
Bienvenue soeur dans l'islam et j'espères que Allah nous donnera la patience et la sagesse dans cette vie
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